Overslept and got started an hour late. No biggie, as I'm not a slave to schedules. It does mean that I skipped the shower. I should have known it would all be downhill from there.
We didn't even get through the devotional before my 10 year old was up, leaving the room, looking for his glasses. (Still unfound, btw.) Got that taken care of, read about how God loves us when we're tired and how we can lean on him. Seemed appropriate. If I had only known how much so!
My printer/copier wouldn't work, so those cute little cut out pages I had planned for my 3 year old to do --- that didn't happen. So instead of practicing his fine motor skills, he was bored, i.e. running with scissors and threatening to cut up anything within reach.
My six year old was NOT happy that first grade is going to be a time to actually work, so he didn't. After writing his name on his new HWT book, he needed a break. I asked him to collect the laundry and that turned into AN HOUR of crying, hitting his little brother (luckily, he'd put down the scissors by then!), and just being generally annoying.
Meanwhile, I had assigned one page (I am not even exaggerating, there were SEVEN words!) of HWT to my 10 year old. Thirty minutes later, he wasn't even close to done. Seriously? Seven freaking words!
An hour after starting out with all my grand plans, I was reduced to a screaming, stinky because I didn't shower, crying mom with a migraine. Public school starts here on Thursday and I informed all of my children that they would be going. The little boys wailed, grabbing on to me like a life preserver, the littlest saying, "Me too little to go to public school!" My 8 year old daughter, bless her, had done nothing but what I had asked of her, and now she was bawling as well. The 10 year old just glared at me.
I tried to retreat to my room, to regroup, pray and avoid social services needing to intervene. Not gonna happen. My 10 year old decided I needed to be parented. I remember my mom saying that I did this often as a kid. I totally got paid back for that today.
As I'm lying on my bed, desperate to calm down and needing to get a grip, Eli is parenting me from my doorway, "Mom, have you gotten yourself under control yet?"
"I can't do this everyday, son."
"I can't do this everyday, either, Mom. You have broken the hearts of every kid in this house today. Including mine."
Wow. Take that, Super Mom. You are a failure. You suck at this. You have broken.their.hearts.
Enter the rest of the minions, all sobbing, but all laying on me, leaning on me, hugging me...loving me in my failure. We cried. We talked. We decided to keep trying.
That was this morning. This afternoon we cleaned up a little, ate lunch and the kids are playing - not fighting - with each other just now.
Today was a miserable failure. I'm not going to even pretend that everything is better now, because it's not. We didn't get anything done and our soft-launch turned into "Houston, we have a problem." My best hope is that, like Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day."
So take heart, homeschool mommas (and daddies), your first day will almost certainly be better than mine.
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