I'm a Desperate Mom

This week I started reading Desperate: Hope for Moms Who Need to Breathe by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson.  Um...wow.  Four chapters in and I'm not sure exactly how Sarah Mae got inside my head, but she and I are so on the same page!

I posted a link to this book on my facebook profile and the response was overwhelming.  With just the title and a few words from me, all the moms I know and some I don't were wanting to read the book.  That alone made me realize I am not alone in this.  There is a great need for mothers to band together and do this thing called parenting together!

Here's what I've gleaned so far.

• Mommas need each other.  We're not meant to do this alone.
• My husband is not my girlfriend.  I shouldn't expect him to be.  It's not a role he was meant to fill.
• I need to be mentored and I need to be mentoring.  
• Motherhood is hard.  
• The God who called me to do this will equip me to do so.  Without Him I could do nothing.
• My most important jobs are loving my husband and loving my kids.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the book.

Read it?  Reading it now?  I'd love to know your thoughts!  Join together with like-minded moms on facebook.

100% Truth and 100% Grace: Is it Even Possible?

Lately a spiritual war has been raging within my head, heart and soul.  I'm struggling with many, many things, but one of the biggest is this:  How can I live a life that reflects Absolute Truth but still show Grace?

How do I live out my faith in the knowledge that the Bible is 100% true but also live in a way that shows 100% Grace to those who fall short of perfection (aka: All of us, myself included.)?

My natural tendency is to fall on the side of Truth and leave Grace for someone else to give.  I have a strong sense of justice and feel the need to see it carried out.  This is in direct conflict with my need for both giving and receiving Grace.

But I've seen so many, heard so many stories about people who were rejected by the church when they revealed their sins.  So many who feel abandoned by Christianity because of their pasts.  So many who feel hated instead of loved.  I don't want to add to that number.  I want to love as I have been loved.  To reflect the love of Jesus in my every breathing moment.

So how do you do this?

Love, Hate and the Chikin Sandwich

I love Chick-fil-A.  I have since the very first time I heard my Aunt Leslie order a "breaded chicken sandwich with pickles and mustard only" while on a trip to Texas when I was a kid.  At that time, most Chick-fil-A restaurants were still south of the Mason-Dixon line and like Big Red soda and Blue Bell ice cream, I was only privy to their Southern greatness every couple of years during trips to visit my grandparents in the Lone Star State.  

Without a doubt, Chick-fil-A has THE BEST chicken sandwich in America.  And who doesn't love the waffle fries and lemonade?  Those Southern folks also love the sweet tea.  Being born north of the Mason-Dixon, it's not my cup of - well - tea, but since they sell it by the gallon, I'm pretty sure it's a hit with some folks.  It's always "my pleasure" to eat there.  They have great food and great service. 

I loved them WAY before I realized that they were owned by Christians.  In fact, I didn't even realize that until I was an adult and saw that they were giving away Adventures in Odyssey CDs in their kids meals.  Sweet!  Once I realized this (and that they're not open on Sundays, even though they could be making MILLIONS more a year if they were), I realized that it's my duty as a Christian to love Chick-fil-A.  Jon Acuff pretty much said so and he certainly knows about Stuff Christians Like.

Fast-forward to today.  Chick-fil-A has been making headlines, not because they give away thousands of free meals to people in cow costumes, but because one of their owners, who has never hidden his faith or his convictions, told a Baptist newspaper that he supports a "biblical definition of the family unit."

   Some have opposed the company's support of the traditional family. "Well, guilty as charged," said Cathy when asked about the company's position.

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that."

Somehow, those tiny little paragraphs at the end of the interview sparked a firestorm of controversy and have somehow made Cathy, and all who agree with him,  now unwelcome by high ranking and high profile politicians in New York City, Chicago and Philadelphia.  

Here's the thing.  This is probably not going to shock those of you who know me, but I personally agree with Cathy. I'm "very much supportive of the...biblical definition of the family unit."  Don't stone me yet, okay, there's more.  I'm a follower of Christ.  You know, Jesus, the guy who when asked, said that the greatest commandments were 

“‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Jesus said I am to love people?  Even *gulp* gay people?  Yep.  In fact, we, the Church, are to strive to be like Christ, welcoming others so that they may know Him as well.  Last week there was a great little church bulletin that said it very well.  In case you missed it, here's what it said.

We extend a special welcome to those who are single, married, divorced, gay, filthy rich, dirt poor, yo no habla Ingles. We extend a special welcome to those who are crying new-borns, skinny as a rail or could afford to lose a few pounds.

We welcome you if you can sing like Andrea Bocelli or like our pastor who can’t carry a note in a bucket. You’re welcome here if you’re “just browsing,” just woke up or just got out of jail. We don’t care if you’re more Catholic than the Pope, or haven’t been in church since little Joey’s Baptism.

We extend a special welcome to those who are over 60 but not grown up yet, and to teenagers who are growing up too fast. We welcome soccer moms, NASCAR dads, starving artists, tree-huggers, latte-sippers, vegetarians, junk-food eaters. We welcome those who are in recovery or still addicted. We welcome you if you’re having problems or you’re down in the dumps or if you don’t like “organized religion,” we’ve been there too.

If you blew all your offering money at the dog track, you’re welcome here. We offer a special welcome to those who think the earth is flat, work too hard, don’t work, can’t spell, or because grandma is in town and wanted to go to church.

We welcome those who are inked, pierced or both. We offer a special welcome to those who could use a prayer right now, had religion shoved down your throat as a kid or got lost in traffic and wound up here by mistake. We welcome tourists, seekers and doubters, bleeding hearts … and you!

I think that for many Christians I know, when it really comes down to it, we want to agree with the above statements but aren't really sure what it looks like to do so.  We know that we're supposed to love our neighbors but are afraid that if we socialize with lesbians or gamblers that we'll be labeled as "wishy-washy" "sinners," or worse yet, "liberals."  At the same time, we're afraid to call sin "sin" for fear that we'll be known as "intolerant," "hate-mongers," "unintelligent" or just plain "un-American."  We want to show love to our neighbors without compromising our beliefs.  How in the world is that possible?  

What I see in the Bible is a God who came down from Heaven with a furious love for his people and a deep desire to have personal, meaningful relationship with them.  The Jesus shown to us in the New Testament called sin "sin" and took his meals with "sinners."  He loved.  He rebuked.  He was personally vested in those around him.  He didn't stand on a corner with a sign condemning anyone.  He was perfect, without sin.

I will never, in this life, be perfect.  My sins are many.  Some are hidden, others are right out there for the world to see.  I will fall many, many more times before my days on this earth are over.  Though imperfect, I am a seeker of Truth, a friend of God, and a lover of his people.  I will continue to do my best to follow his example; building real, meaningful relationships with his creation.  Only then can I truly love.  Only then can I rebuke.  Only when I have a personal, vested interested in others does my opinion on anything matter.  I will not be standing on a corner or in a restaurant condemning anyone.  

When I "eat mor chickin," (and I will be gobbling up breaded chicken sandwiches with pickles and honey mustard whenever I have the chance) there is no "thinly veiled hate" in my action.  There is no "I love you, but..." in my affection for waffle fries.  There is only a longing in my heart to be more like Christ and to somehow reflect the love he has shown me into the lives of those I encounter while on my journey to eternity.  That and a longing for a tall glass of lemonade to wash down the waffle fries.

Little Houses

My family of six lives in a 1200 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2 bath home with no basement and very little storage space.  All four kids share one bedroom.  This would never have been my ideal.  Had we had a larger home, each of us would have our own rooms; our own space to put things and to escape from everyone else.  That is not however, how things have turned out here.  Last fall, I moved Baby Girl in with her brothers and converted the third bedroom into a schoolroom.  I love the results.  The kids giggle with each other at night, playing with flashlights and glow-in-the-dark toys way past bedtime.  They share with each other and don't think twice about their siblings playing with "their" toys. We've created a community where sharing is the expected norm and stuff matters less than people.  Sure, we have our moments and things may have to change as the kids get older, but for right now it's like the Doug Stone song says,

"But you know, love grows best in little houses 

With fewer walls to separate

Where you eat and sleep so close together.

You can't help but communicate,

Oh, and if we had more room between us, 

think of all we'd miss.

Love grows best, in houses just like this."

Nine Things I Hope to Teach My Kids

1. I'm on their side.

No matter who knocks them down, no matter how much they fail, and even when I'm disappointed in their choices, I still want them to succeed.  I'm still on their team.  I ALWAYS want them to win, even if winning doesn't look the way they (or I) thought it would.

2. God is on their side, too.
He's not some big, angry, rule-making hater up in the sky.  He's their Creator and He loves them even more than I do.  He's on their team.  He ALWAYS wants them to win, even if winning doesn't look the way they (or I) thought it would.

3. There is no greater character trait than integrity.
And there is nothing that turns people off more than being a hypocrite.  Our yes must be yes and our no must be no. We must say what we mean and mean what we say.  Even in the little "gray" areas of life, we must choose honesty, not allowing even a hint of untruthfulness.  

4. It's okay to ask questions (and to expect answers).
Sometimes it's so tempting just to say "Because it is," when my kids ask "Why?" for the 5,234th time in two hours. Or to leave things as "I don't know," when asked how a toaster works or why the Jewish people reject Jesus as the Messiah. By encouraging curiosity and showing them how to find answers, I'm equipping them for life.  Because life is just full of questions.

5. Be grateful.
Not just for the big things, but for the little things, too.  I want my kids to routinely show appreciation for those people who enrich their lives; teachers, coaches, friends, family, strangers.  Thank you notes are incredibly important and so is simply saying the words "thank you," repeatedly and sincerely.  

6. Do your best.
It's all you can do. Sometimes it won't be enough.  Hopefully those times will be few and far between. 

7. People are important.  
All people.  Thin people.  Popular people.  Ugly people.  Fat people.  Drop-dead gorgeous people. Conservatives and Liberals.  People with light skin and people with dark skin.  Nice people, grumpy people, and people who can't sing.  Spanish language speakers and those who communicate with clicks and grunts.  Babies yet to be born and seniors in their final years. People who think like me and people who don't. 

8. Respect must sometimes be given even if it has not been earned.
This can be so hard, especially when respect doesn't appear to be deserved. It's tough to respect the teacher who thinks humiliation is the same as discipline, the coach who doesn't give you a chance at the position you want, the politician you disagree with or the policeman who writes you a ticket for driving five over.  Teaching them to value the person over the action and to show proper respect for the position of authority is tough, but it's a goal we're striving for.

9. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Small things like letting your brother chose which movie to watch, feeding the dog (when it's not even your turn), helping carry groceries or moving someone's furniture turn into bigger things like building wells for the thirsty in Liberia, saving victims of human trafficking in Cambodia and preventing history from repeating itself in the American South.  Packing shoeboxes full of goodies for kids in third world countries is more rewarding than opening a slew of new toys on your birthday. 

Our School Room

After reading a post from the pajama momma's blog, I decided I could share with you our schoolroom.  (Still not sure if that's one word or two.)  This is much better this year than last, as until this summer, we didn't even have a room just for our studies. We spent the first two years of our homeschool journey at the kitchen table.  While there were some benefits to this, the drawbacks were many.  The biggest one was the plethora of materials we use for school were spread out through every room and hallway in our house, garage and attic.  Since Baby Girl never slept in her bed anyway, we moved her in with the boys and converted her old room into a much more usable space for school. It's still a work in progress and there are still some leftover art pieces from when it was my daughter's room.  I'm hoping to cover at least part of one wall with chalkboard paint, but haven't gotten that far yet.  Here it is as of today:

Maps are pretty much my favorite things.  You can NEVER have too many maps, especially in a school room!  Here are a few that hang in ours, along with a couple of art projects.

This place value chart from my time teaching fifth grade has come in handy more than once since we started homeschooling.

The books on the blue shelf are for the kiddos.  The taller shelf is a mix of teacher resources and novels for elementary age kids.

My dad picked up a couple of these old school desks at sales and auctions.  The kids now all have their own work spaces.  This is working out well for us.

I finally have a teacher's desk for all my stuff!  

Where I Come From

There's this guy I knew college that I've caught up with on facebook recently.  His name is DJ and he lives in West Yellowstone, MT.  Yep, that's right by the national park.  One of DJ's talents is photography.  My husband has dubbed DJ "Yellowstone Guy" and always asks if he's put up any new pics lately.  The kids love seeing all the animals that we just don't have in Kansas.  The photos are amazing.  But don't take our word for it, check him out and then like his fb page.  Tell him I sent ya.

I'm Still Here

It's been well over a month since I was able to blog anything.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I have a couple of things in the drafts folder that I have yet to finish.  That said, there's just too much on my plate and my mind to even start.  So, in 500 words or less (or more maybe.  I'm not actually going to count), here's my life lately.

A Book, a Cake and a Sunday Morning. aka, I Need a Nap!

April's shaping up to be a busy month.  To start the month, I wrote a book review.  It's awesome (the book, I mean.  The review is probably mediocre at best.).  You should check it out.

On Saturday we hosted an Army themed birthday party for my son (who will tell you that today he is three and a half years old, but will be "six" tomorrow.  So much for homeschool kids being math whizzes!).  For the party, I made a cake.

Book Review: A Lamb Named Ewe by Kevin Jones

This is my first real attempt at a book review.  If it goes well, I may start doing more of this.