Unsolicited Advice for Living with a Servant's Heart

When asked, Jesus said that there were two things that He considered the most important.  First, love God with everything that you are.  Second, love people the same way you want to be loved.  They don't seem like they would be hard things but in the midst of our everyday lives they are often pushed to the back of our minds and forgotten.  But we're all called to be servants.  We're called, dear ones, to serve others.  This doesn't mean we're to be doormats but rather that we are to think of others first and treat them in ways that reflect that.

This servant's heart thing doesn't come naturally to me.  Not at all.  It's a fight almost every single day.  It's one that I sometimes win and sometimes lose.  More often than not, I want to do the selfish thing, the thing that I think will make my own life easier.  But on the occasions that I chose to serve others, to put other people's needs and even wants in front of my own, I've been blessed.

Sometimes it's the big things but more often it's the little ones that add up to make the biggest differences.  Here are a few small things you we can practice every day that reflect a servant's heart.

1.  Let someone else have the seat.  Once upon a time in America you would never have seen a woman or an elderly person standing while young, able-bodied men were sitting.  Today, you see it all too often.  For Pete's sake, I've seen very obviously pregnant women standing while teenagers sit, oblivious to the courtesy they should be extending.  Often, their parents are sitting beside them, just as clueless.  Whether it's at the doctor's office, on the bus, in a theater, or even in church, this sight is all too common.  Let's change that, starting today.  If you see someone who would appreciate the seat more than you - pregnant ladies, mothers with young children, people with disabilities, the elderly and the just plain tired - to name a few, give it up.  The time you spend standing probably won't kill you but the kindness you show just might give someone else the strength to get through the day.

2.  Park further away from the door.  For a long time, there was this lady who came to my church with her five little kids.  Because her kids were so close in age, it seemed like she always had one in a carseat and one on her hip and another two or three running alongside her.   Despite this, she parked her vehicle in the spot furthest from door.  Every. single. week.  For years.  In the rain, in the mud, in the blazing hot Kansas sunshine, she chose to leave the close spots for others and made the walk through the parking lot surrounded by her children.  No one would have thought poorly of her for parking as close to the door as possible but she chose to serve the others in our fellowship by quietly making this sacrifice.  

3.  Open doors.  This one is so easy but so powerful.  Simply open the door for someone, hold it long enough for them to walk through and give them a smile.  You'll be surprised at the difference you can make. 

4.  Help others without complaining.  There are these two boys at my church that I want my sons to grow up to be just like.  I guess it's not really fair to call them "boys," especially since one of them just got engaged.  They're early 20-something college students right now, but I've known them since before they started middle school.  I'm still getting used to the idea of them being men.  (Good grief, I sound like I'm 90, don't I!)  Over the last decade I've asked a lot of these young men.  I've had them carry boxes, hang Christmas lights, act in skits (and this is WAY out of one's comfort zone) and help me with a million other things for VBS.  The tasks are never glamorous and often include physical labor.  They've hung backdrops and moved about a zillion pews, tables and chairs.  Without exception, they have done what I asked and then come back to see what they should do next.  As they've gotten older, they've become my go-to-guys.  I can count on them to do just about anything.  They do not only what I ask but what they see that needs done.

I can't talk about these two young men without mentioning that they learned these things by example.  They've lived their entire lives watching their parents and grandparents constantly give to others.  They've worked alongside their fathers and grandfathers moving pews and building stage sets.  They've carried bags and boxes full of ministry materials for their mothers, aunts and grandmas.  They've delivered cookies baked by those same ladies.  They are who they are because the generations in front of them have modeled these behaviors for them.  My deepest desire is that my boys become men like these because they will have mentors who lead the way.  

5.  Let someone else go first.  When my Wal-Mart cart is full to overflowing and the guy behind me only has a box of diapers and a Pepsi, I let him go first.  The guy who looks like he'll just die if he has to spend just one more minute in the grocery store also gets to go before me.  This can also mean letting your spouse or kids pick what to watch on TV or letting a car cut in front of you in the line out of the busy parking lot.  It might even mean letting a group of teenage boys hit the buffet line before you.  No wait, I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean that one.  That's just crazy talking.

6.  Stay and clean up.  If you really thought about it, you'd probably be surprised to realize how very few people do this.  On a sign-up sheet, it's almost always the last spot to fill up.  If there is no sheet, it is probably being done by the same small handful of people who always do it.  Before you rush out the door from a church dinner, a Scout meeting or a birthday party, take a look around and see what you can do to help.  If everyone just took the time to put away their own chairs, wipe down a table or take out a bag of trash the world really would be a better place.

7. Perform a thoughtful act of service for someone in your home.  Sometimes, for me, it's easier to show acts of kindness to complete strangers than it is in my own home.  But these are the ones that have the biggest reward.  Bring your wife breakfast in bed, even if it's not her birthday.  Make your husband his favorite meal, just because you love him.  Let the kids play for an extra five minutes because they're enjoying themselves.  Feed the dog, even though it's your sister's turn.  Leave a love note on the mirror in the bathroom (Dry erase markers are great for this.).  

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How are you living this out?  What's the best way someone has shown love to you through service?