In just a few weeks we'll celebrate AJ's first birthday. It hardly seems possible that it was a year ago that I was a very pregnant momma working the concession stand at E's wrestling tournament, then giving birth to my fourth child the next day. It's been bittersweet to watch AJ reach developmental milestones, because he's the last one. Once he can do something, I'll never again have a child in that last stage.
When those first teeth came in, I knew I'd never again smile at my toothless baby's grin. When I gave away the last of the baby food, I knew I'd never again have to buy the stuff for my child. The Saturday before Christmas AJ took his first steps and now I have a toddler. Two weeks later, he's taking off after the other children and I watch, knowing I'll never again have a baby who can't walk.I know there are many, many more "never agains" I've yet to experience. I'm even aware that these may very well not be the most difficult "never agains" I'll go through in my parenting journey. Some day, not as far in the future as I might hope, I'll never again have a child without a driver's license, who hasn't been on a date, who isn't in college, who hasn't had his heart broken, who hasn't told me she hates my guts.
Knowing that, I'm resolving to live in this moment; in this time where my oldest is missing his front teeth and reading comic books, my baby girl is learning to read and loves her dance class, EZ is Papa's boy and a laugh a minute, and my baby is toddling across the room and falling asleep in my arms. This is the moment I am choosing to live in. I don't want to miss a minute of it.
What moment are you living in?
awwww...Kelsi this was so sweet to read. I want to cry since I will be 33 in April and we have been trying to have another for over two years now. It makes me ache inside not knowing if we will have another. Especially since two will probably be the limit since I don't have too much longer. I can't believe I will be considered a health risk to carry a baby soon. I still feel so young. I understand regarding the age difference among other parents with children the same age as ours. AnnMarie's class has so many un-wedd and young mothers that it now only makes me feel old, but sad as well, for the children. Anyway, love, love your blog! Thanks for sharing.
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